One Week!

Wow has it already been one week since Baby Kiley was born? Let me tell you how absolutely amazing it has been. I know y'all are wanting the birth story but I am not done writing it yet. I still sometimes look at her and feel like we are babysitting a niece of ours, then I blink and think for one second and realize its actually OUR child. Wow. Amazing. Kiley is such an amazing baby and so easy. She eats every 3 hrs and naps between. The only time you hear her cry is if she has a dirty diaper or if mommy is taking too long to switch the side she is eating on. Other than that- absolutely perfect. She is as sweet as can be and loves to cuddle.

Here is a little recap of likes/dislikes/ what she is up to:
Loves:
-TCU
-Her little lamb swing- thank you Katie and Jack
- getting in her car seat and taking a ride- thanks Dana
- the purple NUK passy- she isn't liking any other kind right now 
- being swaddled tightly
- her vibrating chair at night after she nurses
-Sandstorm

Dislikes:
- dirty diapers (especially when you aren't holding her and she gets one)
- being naked
- her first 2 baths 
- having to switch sides to eat

We are currently eating every 3 hrs- 7, 10, 1, 4, am and pm around the clock
She nurses around 12-15 minutes total and then I pump. We are having her sleep in her pack n play next to my side of the bed. We also have converted my dresser top into a diaper changing station for the evening.

Overall things are just too amazing to describe. We are completely in Love with this baby. And it melts my heart watching Lew with her. He is so gentle and sweet with her. Love.

Peace Out!!

Peace, I'm outta here! 

Been back home for a few days adjusting to the new life, but I must say Kiley is a perfect. Lady introduced herself upon her arrival and showed her the lay of the land, though I don't think she knows what to think of her, but loves snuggling up to her in bed and giving her a kiss on her head. Kiley also has quite the personality being only 6 days old, alot more than some people I have come across. Kel is feeling good since the Kiley's day of birth and will hopefully be back at 100% shortly. I have been with my wife for many moons and felt me and her were on the same level of caring for babies, if anything I had the edge for my time at Honey Daycare with my niece. But, Kiley is here and instantly she dominated me, crying she would put her in some voo doo trance and make her as happy as can be, I had to call in my the mama numerous times when skills couldn't get the job done. I thought "motherly intuition" was a bogus "skill" women made up, but Kel has that something extra maybe its not motherly intuition but I know she is the perfect mom. I think my fatherly intuition will come years from now when some knuckle head try's to take my daughter out, and my intuition involves full metal jackets and my .38 special.

One Day Old

It's been one day, feel so much more mature than this time yesterday. Kiley has a head of hair, which answers Kelly's prayers for ample resources for bows; which she has treated like the bottled water fiasco of the Y2K scare. It's ridiculous, she has so many, way to many; imagine Edward Scissorhands meets Fabric World. Only cool thing about this head of hair that suits me, is t-shirts that express herself (and I guess her mother for that matter)

Mary Kiley Kinard

Success. Mary Kiley Kinard entered the world via Kelly. All 6 lbs 15.9 oz; 19.5" long; dr's have been rounding up the weight to 7 lbs, but if they do that they should round up the pain pills Kelly gets so she can share with me, so 6 lbs 15.9 oz is what it is for me, until I get persuaded/prescribed differently. She is beautiful, wife is beautiful.

The birth, not going into to much detail in this department, kelly went into labor, she pushed, baby came. But I did get to slice and dice the ole umbilical cord, which could've been a scary/tense situation for a lesser man. Her head came out, about to grab the rest of the body, kelly's body booby trapped her insides, apparently she didn't want to have the baby early, umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. I give props to the Doc, she did all this without letting Kelly know anything was going on. So I was suppose to cut umbilical cord at some station or something like that, but in my training as a young lad I was taught to adapt and execute with precision. In a very normal speaking voice, Doc: "Lewis, change of plan; come here, cut here." Baby's head was out, rest of body still en route; a booby trap in kelly's body that tried to lasso its only resident met its match. Snip, Snip, saved baby from choking; expedited the birthing process, all in all a solid performance on my part.

Push Present's- first of all I did not know that such a thing existed or what it was for. My wonderful wife, gladly informed me of other new mothers push presents, to slyly bring up a responsibility of mine to get a gift, though introduced as me thanking/rewarding her for the past 9 months, though now I am told its technically 10 months; kinda makes that movie "9 months" pretty inaccurate, in my opinion. I will be honest, I could be a little frugal from time to time, and completely called my wife a liar for this made up gift she was trying to scam me into getting, not to mentioned she was due in April, birth stone of diamond and it would be so meaningful for a diamond to be a part of the "push present". Her statement might seem valid at face value, but it was convenient or meant to be that it was April, but if she would have delivered in May, the ole "l," delivered in March "well my original due date was April". My resistance did not last long, because pregnant wife's happiness is something not to mess with. So I called BS, she was determined, I accepted my bank account's fate, and got her something.
- This is one part of women's constant attempt to make up holidays and events to get flowers or gifts they got wrong, and so wrong. So you find a situation or event that is very important and monumental and attach a gift to it (jewelery of course) , nothing to crazy expensive, but something nicer than you might "normally" give her, and its suppose to be given after the delivery, so item must be bought in advance. This is your mistake, guys are cheap asses, most never plan ahead, and will always choose the gift that's in the middle, not flashy, but shows that they care. You should have had this "gift" purchase and exchange after delivery. I bought the gift early, for once -death might have been tossed around in relation to my life- got it to make her happy, but was not sold on the whole deserved, earning part; other than morning sickness at beginning of pregnancy -which has long left my mind. Being in that delivery room, transformed my mind, went from thinking I was conned into another gift, to thinking I had not done or got enough. If this push present would have been "customary" to buy after delivery, I would have bought anything she wanted, anything, and this comes from a cheap ass, I wouldn't even have to get drunk for the purchase. Jewelry, its yours, want a diamond, I'll get you a 20 karat to match her date. Seeing her deliver, if she could speak it I would have bought it, good thing I hit that epidural button a few times without anyone knowing, numbed everything, especially tongue. You messed up girls, bad, you get an future father that questions the validity of a present; you missed out on a father that would have bought, done, said anything you wanted; you just asked for it to soon.

-hopefully get released from hospital tomorrow morning

-also, my guest-blogging gig is over. For readers I drove away, Kiley's mother shall return to her normal blogging in the near future. Wear Purple and Get Drunk get a Future Frog. it was easy, at least for me.

Rock N Roll

Here we go. breath breath breath. push push push. o shit.

more ladie lingo

5cm; (half way there) -2 Position.

Just chilling in delivery room, I took a lil nap on this crappy sofa pull out shit, that people try and talk up like its a luxury, my ass luxury. Don't act like I was snoozing; while my poor lil ole wife was all in pain and trying to deliver a baby and I'm off in the corner dreaming of Purple Coors Light. She was konked out on that epidural crap. Speaking of which I watched as they put that epi in, shit is crazy; needle to spine insert wire/tube thing, looked like some sci fi movie, like at any moment she would turn into some alien and eat me.

If I hear one more thing from somebodies coworkers sister cousin that drank caster oil and the baby came, walked a mile and baby came, fell down baby shot out. I made Kelly sit in an Amon G. Carter Stadium seat (yes I bought 2) then played TCU Fight song and BAM, next exit hospital. So that's the only thing that works you crazy asses.

Also, watching "girl on girl" action every hour is kinda weird, this is the most "lesbian experiences" she has had that I know about. And just saw another experimental moment most have in college, and its 8cm.

8cm, almost there. they tell us we push at 10cm. so its moving along. In the countdown to hearing how Kelly really feels about me, I'm usually drunk for this kind of honesty.

For the ladies.....

Prego Terms: Kelly is 90%, and a 3.

eta still 2-4pm, which is my guess; no medical degree, but I made a baby; i got street cred