The birth, not going into to much detail in this department, kelly went into labor, she pushed, baby came. But I did get to slice and dice the ole umbilical cord, which could've been a scary/tense situation for a lesser man. Her head came out, about to grab the rest of the body, kelly's body booby trapped her insides, apparently she didn't want to have the baby early, umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. I give props to the Doc, she did all this without letting Kelly know anything was going on. So I was suppose to cut umbilical cord at some station or something like that, but in my training as a young lad I was taught to adapt and execute with precision. In a very normal speaking voice, Doc: "Lewis, change of plan; come here, cut here." Baby's head was out, rest of body still en route; a booby trap in kelly's body that tried to lasso its only resident met its match. Snip, Snip, saved baby from choking; expedited the birthing process, all in all a solid performance on my part.
Push Present's- first of all I did not know that such a thing existed or what it was for. My wonderful wife, gladly informed me of other new mothers push presents, to slyly bring up a responsibility of mine to get a gift, though introduced as me thanking/rewarding her for the past 9 months, though now I am told its technically 10 months; kinda makes that movie "9 months" pretty inaccurate, in my opinion. I will be honest, I could be a little frugal from time to time, and completely called my wife a liar for this made up gift she was trying to scam me into getting, not to mentioned she was due in April, birth stone of diamond and it would be so meaningful for a diamond to be a part of the "push present". Her statement might seem valid at face value, but it was convenient or meant to be that it was April, but if she would have delivered in May, the ole "l," delivered in March "well my original due date was April". My resistance did not last long, because pregnant wife's happiness is something not to mess with. So I called BS, she was determined, I accepted my bank account's fate, and got her something.
- This is one part of women's constant attempt to make up holidays and events to get flowers or gifts they got wrong, and so wrong. So you find a situation or event that is very important and monumental and attach a gift to it (jewelery of course) , nothing to crazy expensive, but something nicer than you might "normally" give her, and its suppose to be given after the delivery, so item must be bought in advance. This is your mistake, guys are cheap asses, most never plan ahead, and will always choose the gift that's in the middle, not flashy, but shows that they care. You should have had this "gift" purchase and exchange after delivery. I bought the gift early, for once -death might have been tossed around in relation to my life- got it to make her happy, but was not sold on the whole deserved, earning part; other than morning sickness at beginning of pregnancy -which has long left my mind. Being in that delivery room, transformed my mind, went from thinking I was conned into another gift, to thinking I had not done or got enough. If this push present would have been "customary" to buy after delivery, I would have bought anything she wanted, anything, and this comes from a cheap ass, I wouldn't even have to get drunk for the purchase. Jewelry, its yours, want a diamond, I'll get you a 20 karat to match her date. Seeing her deliver, if she could speak it I would have bought it, good thing I hit that epidural button a few times without anyone knowing, numbed everything, especially tongue. You messed up girls, bad, you get an future father that questions the validity of a present; you missed out on a father that would have bought, done, said anything you wanted; you just asked for it to soon.
-hopefully get released from hospital tomorrow morning
-also, my guest-blogging gig is over. For readers I drove away, Kiley's mother shall return to her normal blogging in the near future. Wear Purple and Get Drunk get a Future Frog. it was easy, at least for me.
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