Missing my Daddy

I always hate this time of year because it is when I lost my daddy. I know God is trying to teach me to look at all the blessings in April such as my moms birthday, two sister in laws birthdays, Easter and hopefully the arrival of our sweet baby girl. So I am On my knees and praying.  The topic of death is always such a hard topic of discussion with God. I know everything happens for a reason but I still don't understand why the Lord had to call my Dad to Heaven so soon. I know he is in a better place but it hurts so badly and deeply to not have him here. I know I need to trust in the Lord in everything but I still struggle trusting him with my dads death. I just don't understand. I just don't get it. I just don't think it's fair. I'm still upset. I'm still mad. I'm still hurt. I would think I would have come to accept or at least be at peace but I'm not. I try to stay strong but I still have my breakdowns. It is harder than ever right now (I'm sure partly because of my pregnancy hormones) but I just keep crying all the time thinking about my sweet Daddy. I cry thinking how he won't be there to welcome his granddaughter into this world. I cry thinking how he won't be here as she grows up. I just cry missing him sooooo much. He was such an amazing man and I miss him everyday. I hate cancer. I continue to pray for a cure so that no one suffers like my father did and no family has to go through the lost of a dearly beloved. It sucks. 

God's Garden-
God looked around his garden 
And He found an empty place. 
And then He looked down upon the earth, 
And saw your tired face.
 He put His arms around you, 
And lifted you to rest. 
God's garden must be beautiful, 
He always takes the best. 
He knew that you were suffering,
He knew you were in pain, 
He knew that you would never Get well on earth again.
He saw the road was getting rough, 
And the hills were hard to climb, 
So He closed your weary eyelids, 
And whispered"Peace be thine."
It broke our hearts to lose you.
But you didn't go alone, 
For part of us went with you, The day God called you home. 


I love you Daddy!